A birthday wish

This morning is Keith's birthday. He's 48 today.

For years now we've had a friendly "battle" of the ages. As in, I'm older and Keith likes to make jokes about it. Now he makes jokes about just wanting to make it to 50.
All that fuss I made about turning 50 seems pretty petty now.

We do fuss a great deal about getting older in our American culture. Getting older is seen as something to be feared and denied (as if we have any choice in the matter). We tend to talk about "the elderly" as if they were aliens from some other planet, rather than simply ourselves if we manage to live long enough.

I hated turning 30, 40 and 50. And I'll probably hate turning 60 too. But I look forward to hating it as well. Growing old together is now a goal for us. A goal we once took for granted.

Keith and I have stuck together through a great deal of turmoil at times. We have made lots of little mistakes and a few big ones. However, the one thing we could always see ahead was the two of us together, being cool grandparents together. Taking our grandkids on roller coasters, swimming, sailing and on trips across the country is one of our greatest joys.

We were even developing this neat scenario for retiring together on a larger sailboat and taking off whenever the urge took us. We want to go to Europe and England together. We have stories to write.

Cancer has put everything on hold. Keith is so anxious for things to just get done he would rather have the surgery just to move forward. The waiting to see what will happen seems to be the worst of all. Waiting for test results. Waiting for a response to treatment. Waiting to feel better. Waiting for a new staging, a new prognosis. Waiting. Waiting. And more waiting. It feels endless.

In the end, we are waiting for life to begin again. We want to stop waiting and go back to doing. We want to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, graduations and all the million small events that comprise our lives. We want to grow old together.

I believe this will all happen in time. I'm willing to wait just a little longer.

Happy Birthday my love. I look forward to you turning 50 so you too can get the senior discount at Sea World.